FOR THE LADIES: Things Guys Don't Want You to Know

WE CAN GET EMOTIONAL TOO, OR WHATEVER.

We're just usually pretty good at suppressing it. Please understand that if we say something like, "You look pretty" or "I like you," it took every bit of courage in our being to say it. I realize that "You are nice" might not be that romantic for you, but for some guys it's the emotional equivalent of a perfectly-composed sonnet.

HOW MANY PEOPLE WE'VE SLEPT WITH.

This is one of those things no one should ask anyone else. Everyone worries that their number is too low or too high. Just internalize all that anxiety and never speak about it, because you will get in a fight over it.

WE’'RE SELF-CONSCIOUS ABOUT OUR PENISES.

If we’re not worried about size, we’re worried about shape, or color, or gradient, or whatever. 

WE GET TEXTS FROM OUR EXES.

It's not like we feel guilty or even respond, but if an old flame texts us, we're sweeping that one under the rug. It's not worth bringing up.

WE LIKE HANGING OUT WITH YOU, EVEN WHEN WE DON'T ACT LIKE IT.

We might drag our feet shopping, or roll our eyes when you suggest going to see a romantic comedy. But we're happy to be there because you're there. We'll just never admit it.

WE MIGHT THINK OTHER GIRLS ARE KIND OF ATTRACTIVE SOMETIMES.

We're very visual. We might notice a pretty woman walk by but it doesn't mean we're unhappy or we hate you. If you ask us if we think a particular person is pretty and we say, "I get why other people find her attractive, but I just don't see it," we are lying through our teeth.

#MyBad guys. Just had to burn a few cables for the greater good.

#OnlyBallersKnow

LOL