We all deserve love(to love & to be loved in return) but most times things seem not to fall in place as we'd have desired it to. And why is that so? Here are some reasons why you're at such impasse;
YOU'RE BEING A NEGATIVE NANCY
Ever hear of the law of attraction? Basically, if you're dwelling on the ugly way things ended last time, that mental focus isn't going to bring around many winners. Our emotional state of mind impacts the energy in our bodies, which can act as a magnet or repellent to love. We attract people who are in the same emotional place, so if you're stuck in negative thought patterns, you'll create more bad experiences, lame dates, and lovers who won't show up for you." Instead, write down the needs and desires you felt were never fulfilled in your past relationships and why then talk about them with someone you trust. Writing will force you to dig deeper and figure out what the real issues are.
YOU BLAME YOURSELF FOR EVERY RELATIONSHIP FAILURE
The biggest way that women hurt themselves is by thinking, 'I deserved the pain. It may not be those exact words, but phrases like "I'm not skinny enough," "I'm too old," or "I'm not a good enough wife" are common variations. As hard as it is to shove those thoughts aside, you have to because everyone who wants to be in a great relationship deserves to be. Counselling, written affirmations, and meditation can all help boost your self-esteem; you can even take a course/therapy designed specifically to help you open up. Once you're aware of your worthiness and can stand on your own, you'll attract a whole new caliber of men into your dating sphere or start to repair the relationship you're already in.
YOU KEEP DOING THE SAME THING AND EXPECT DIFFERENT RESULTS
It may be the definition of insanity, but you're not crazy sometimes it can take months (or years) to identify behavioral patterns and even longer to change them. That said, if you seem to find love in all the wrong places (married, deceptive, weird), it might be time to reevaluate. Look at how you're usually meeting these folks and the type you tend to go for. It'll help you pick up on patterns, then you can do something different; it's all trial and error. So if you're always using Tinder, try Bumble. Or if you're always going for tall ebonies, say yes to the shorter ivories. After all, the only way to tell the difference between an nut and a stone is to try both. And you never know who might surprise you.
YOU'RE STUCK ON PAST LOVE
We're going to give you some tough, judgment-free love: if you're still stalking your ex online even if it's just once a month you could be blocking handsome men or Gorgeous women from entering your life. It sounds so obvious, but ridding yourself of remnants of your ex is tremendously helpful. Even if you're still hopeful for a 'come-back'. "Try not to see him/her for a long time (or only when you have to)." And while it's healthy and important to give yourself plenty of time to heal after a relationship ends, do not keep yourself at bay because you're still sober about the 'past'. Join the caravan & be happy.
YOU AREN'T WILLING TO SHOW YOUR REAL SELF
Do you clam up anytime your partner asks about your childhood, or any specific past life of yours? That's called staying in your emotional comfort zone and avoiding your raw emotions. When you refuse to be vulnerable, it says you're ashamed of your wants and needs,. That creates walls between you and your partner, and he/she might start to close off as soon as he/she feels you doing it. Soon enough, you're both hiding behind brick walls, even when you're laying in bed right next to each other." The best way to deal is to rip the Band-Aid. That way your partner will finally understand why certain things grind your gears (and vice versa) and you can talk about how to move forward openly.
YOU'RE UNCONSCIOUSLY KILLING POSSIBLE CONNECTIONS
Whether you're coupled up or have been single since WWII, if you're not developing meaningful connections, you may be subconsciously or even consciously trying to squash them. We avoid love in all sorts of ways, like finding ridiculous flaws or getting overly suspicious. These strategies certainly protect you from pain, but they also make you miss out on emotional fulfillment..
YOU THINK YOU'RE TOO STRESSED OR AMBITIOUS FOR A RELATIONSHIP
Let's be real: You are stressed and ambitious. But since falling in love and staying that way is a pretty high priority for most of us, it's important to realize you can balance love along with life. If you're struggling to keep all of the balls in the air, talk to your partner about it. The right one will support your career and other aspects of life so that you feel 100% happy. In other words, if you need to devote less energy to date night or ME-YOU Time because you're gunning for a promotion, that's cool, just don't ditch them completely. Remember, romance has just as much potential to bring lessons, richness, and adventure into your life as your dream job, and if you sacrifice one for the other, you may find none of it was worth it in the end.
As much you want to have it you can get it because you deserve it.
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